Monday 4 May 2009

Cow Economics

Something funny just because it's Monday. I tried to google an original source for these jokes but all I got were many many many variations. Think I need to relocate to France or Italy. Have fun adding your own
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away…

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies. You then employ someone else to do the work and you graball future profits to fund your indolent lifestyle.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows. You break for lunch. Life is good

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You re-eng ineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. A beautiful woman walks past. You decide to have lunch. Life is good

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy….

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers and a barbeque to celebrate and ponder why none of the cows have pouches for their young

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

8 comments:

  1. Funny...I agree, look out France, here I come!

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  2. am laughing my head off here! pity there isn't a Spanish paragraph... :p

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  3. I have seen the cow joke before... but never in this much detail!!! Cute

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  4. That is one of the funniest things that I have read, I might end up linking you up with this post this weekend, I do a post on the weekend where I link people to other posts that I thought were good!

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  5. Why don't you allow followers?

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  6. Hilarious - and the man in the office next to mine will totally enjoy this. Thanks!

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  7. Cris - I think you've found a gap in the cow market - make one up for Spain!

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  8. Otin - no need to show off your pro-bloggy-ness by pointing out technical problems to newbies... But at least you have inspired me to become that little bit more of a blogger. I'm quite concerned I am fast heading down a one way street!

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